A free guide to advocacy and informed decision making in maternity care
“I wasn’t allowed to use the birth centre.”
“I wasn’t allowed to go past 40 weeks.”
“I wasn’t allowed a water birth.”
These are things I hear far too often when women talk about their experiences of maternity care.
And they always make me wonder: did those women know they had a choice?
When recommendations sound like rules
Throughout pregnancy and birth, you'll be offered tests, appointments, monitoring and different options for your care. Your midwives and doctors may make recommendations based on your circumstances, clinical guidance or hospital policy.
But sometimes those recommendations are presented in a way that makes them sound like rules.
It's easy to assume that if a healthcare professional tells you something needs to happen, there isn't really a decision to make.
The reality is that hospital policies and clinical guidelines are not the same as individual consent. They can help inform recommendations, but they don't automatically determine what you must agree to.
You can ask questions. You can ask about the evidence. You can explore alternatives. And you can accept or decline recommended care.
But if you don't know there's a choice to make, how can you make an informed one?
Informed decisions are about more than clinical risk
When discussing maternity care, conversations can become very focused on risk.
And understanding risk is important. But it's also important to understand what those risks actually mean, how likely they are and how they compare with the alternatives.
Being told you're at “higher risk” doesn't necessarily tell you very much on its own.
Higher than what? By how much? What does the evidence show? And how does it apply to your individual circumstances?
There's also more to consider than clinical statistics alone.
Where you feel safe, the environment you're giving birth in, the people supporting you and how comfortable you feel can all matter.
Birth is a physiological process, influenced by hormones, environment and emotional state. These things deserve to be part of conversations about your care too.
Ultimately, an informed decision brings together the available evidence, your individual circumstances and what matters to you.
Why I've created Your Birth, Your Choice
As an antenatal educator and doula, I want women to feel confident asking questions and taking an active role in decisions about their maternity care.
Not because every recommendation should be challenged or declined, but because every woman deserves to understand her options before making a decision.
And advocating for yourself doesn't have to mean having a disagreement with your maternity team.
Sometimes it's simply asking why something is being recommended, requesting more information or taking some time to consider your options.
That's why I've put together Your Birth, Your Choice: A Guide to Advocacy and Informed Decision Making.
It's a free 12 page resource designed to help you feel more prepared for conversations about your maternity care.
What's inside the guide?
The guide covers:
Policy, guidance and individual choice: Understanding the difference between a recommendation and a decision you make about your own care.
Getting curious about the evidence: Questions to help you understand what's behind a recommendation and how it applies to you.
Understanding risk: Looking at absolute risk and actual numbers rather than relying on phrases such as “higher risk”.
The BRAINS framework: A practical way to explore benefits, risks, alternatives, your individual circumstances, doing nothing or waiting, and seeking a second opinion.
Birth physiology: Why your environment, sense of safety, privacy and support matter too.
Preparing for appointments: How to approach conversations with your maternity team and think about what you want to get out of them.
Choosing a different pathway: What to ask when your preferences differ from usual hospital recommendations and how to discuss an individualised care plan.
Consent: Understanding your right to ask questions, accept or decline care, and change your mind.
Further information and support: Places to explore the evidence and find additional guidance.
You don't need to have all the answers
I think it's important to remember that you don't need to go into every appointment knowing exactly what you want or feeling ready to defend your decisions.
You can go in simply wanting to learn more.
You can ask questions, listen to the answers and take that information away to think about.
You might decide that the recommended option is absolutely right for you. Or you might decide that you'd prefer something different.
Either way, you deserve to feel that you've been part of the decision.
Get your free copy
I hope this guide gives you a useful starting point for asking questions, understanding what's being recommended and working out what feels right for you.
Whether you're early in pregnancy, preparing your birth preferences or facing a decision about your care, it's never too early to start exploring your options.
Download Your Birth, Your Choice for free
Because you can't make an informed choice if you don't know you have one.
Lily & Life | Antenatal Education, Hypnobirthing & Doula Support in Somerset